About Me!

*What is your name? Kailyn                                                                                              *Do you have any nicknames? Kai, oh and whatever my amazing boyfrind feels like calling me that day :) hahaha 
*When is your birthdate? 12/27/1992
*What's your birthplace? Virginia 
*What's your current location? Arizona 
*What's your hair color? Medium brown
*What's your eye color? Greenish blueish haha some people say they have yellow in them 
*Do you have any piercings? Ears
*Do you have any tattoos? two, i have a blue sparrow on one foot and a red one on the other *What's your ethnicity? Umm im Serbian and Irish 
*What's your heritage? "
*Do you have any siblings? yes 3 sisters and 1 brother 
*Do you have any pets? yep i have 3 dogs
*What school do you go to? Beach Elementry

...FavOritEs... 

*Food? ummm idk haha pulled pork? sloppy joes? cheese burgers? im an all american kinda girl :)
*Candy? heath bars!! :) yyuummmm 
*Icecream? Bittersweet symphony by hershy coffee icecream with chocolate chunks and gnash 
*Drink? Cocoa-cola :0) 
*Color? yellow (the lighter one not the pow bright one) 
*Number? umm 7? 
*Season? Fall Fall Fall!!!! :D it sssoooo pretty!!! and i love wearing jeans, and i love applesider and  fires :) 
*School Subject? History 
*Parent? This question is just wrong 
*Store? American Eagel, charrlote russe, and forever 21
*Clothing Brand? "
*Sport? Track!!! :) and volleyball 
*Male Celebrity? Ryan Rennolds 
*Female Celebrity? Jennifer Aniston 
*Holiday? Easter and christmas 
*Book? 19 Minutes, The 5 People You Meet in Heaven.  
*TV Show? Not sure! 
*Movie? not sure! 
*Childhood Toy? water baby :0)

< This or That > 

*Kisses or Hugs? both? 
*Laugh or Cry? Laugh 
*City or Country? country 
*Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate
*NYC or LA?ummm idk haha 
*Coke or Pepsi? COKE!!!! :)
*Up North or Down South? ummm i dont care haha 
*Beach or Pool? either will do                                                                                                                 *Hot or Cold? im cold almost always but depends on my mood
*Sunny or Rainy? again it depends :)
*Shake Ya Tailfeather or Shake Your Laffy Taffy? tailfeather :) by boyfriend and his little sisters were singing this and i thought it was soo cute!!! :)
*Polka Dots or Stripes? polka dots! 
*Baskin Robbins or Dairy Queen?yumm ill take either!
*NFC or AFC? ........??
*Family or Friends? Both
*McDonalds or Burger King? burger king 
*Chocolate Milk or White Milk? Chocolate Milk!
*Love or Money? LOVE! <3
*Fantasy or Reality? umm books? both haha 
*Abercrombie or Hollister? either! :) but its a splurge they are expensive!! 
*Hamburgers or Hotdogs? depends on my mood and if that hotdog is chicago style :) 
*Ketchup or Mustard? Both! 
*Day or Night? Day
*Rap or Country? COUNTRY!!
*Prep or Emo? if its asking what i am neither 
*Sweet or Tart? both! :) 
*Blonde or Brunette? Brunettes.... come on we brunettes are the best :) 
*Cats or Dogs? dogs!
*Indoors or Outdoors? outdoors, but both! haha 

<3 L.O.V.E <3 

*Have you ever been in love? I am :) <3 
*With whom? Derek Scott Tolbert! <3 the most amazing man alive! 
*What is true love? When you love someone through thick and thin, you couldnt imagine your life without them, you trust them, they respect you and you respect them, fights mean nothing because in the end every day you love them more and more, when you see them you get choked up, you miss them every second, you feel whole when they are near you, when they smile you melt, when they touch your hand you feel like knees give out, i could go on... but :) i think you get it 
*Does love at first site exist? Thats called attraction :) but once you have that attraction you can create a strong and very happy and loving relationship 
*Do you have a bf or gf? yes indeedy i do! :) 
*What is your sexual orientation? straight 
*Is there such a thing as fairytales? who knows! life is what you make it ;)
*Have you ever been cheated on? yes, but it was in 7th grade haha sooo it wasnt a real relationship anyways! :)
*Have you ever cheated? No! my dad would kill me!!! and i could never ever do that!!!!!
*Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? yep! multiple times haha im a cry baby! 
*Do you have a crush? yes on derek! ssshhhh dont tell!!!!! 
*On who?Derek.. remember??! shhhh!!!*Ever been kissed? Yes
*Are you a virgin? of course! untill marriage! :)
*Ever hooked up with someone of the same sex? noo not my thing! haha 
*Do you want to get married? Whenever derek wants too ;) 
*Do you want to have kids?Of course!! i would love to be a mommy!! 
*How do you feel about "friends with benefits"? People will do what they are going to do! haha not my personal choice! 
*Would you ever consider having an open relationship with someone? NO! i could never do that i would be so jealous! i couldnt do it!

?Random Questions? 

*Do you think you're attractive? :) yes! ive had self confidence issues before but ive changed :)
*Do you do drugs? No! not my thing!
*Smoke? No! my parents and brother do, but i would never do that to myself 
*Drink? Cocoa-cola, :) sorry no alcoholic drinks for this girl!! 
*If you could meet any athlete, who would it be? not sure!! 
*Do you like coffee? you know it! :)
*What do you want to be when you grow up? physical therapy 
*How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Two times atleast! haha 
*Have you ever had braces? Nope
*Do you wear contacts or glasses? Nope!
*What is your clothing style? umm im not sure i usually just grab a tee and jeans from my closet haha :)
*Do you believe in life on other planets? Who knows!
*Do you wish on stars? shooting stars yess :)
*Do you support the death penalty? Why? honestly no, i believe its stooping to there level and if they really did something terrible they deserve to sit there in jail! god should be the only one to decide when someone dies
*How do you want to die? happy and peacefully! 
*Do you have any regrets? Nope!
*Does karma come back and get you? id say!
*Have you ever been sent to jail? No! haha 
*Have you ever lied? i do believe everyone has lied at some point in their life! 
*Are you honest? yes, i hate when people arnt honest with me so why wouldnt i be 
*When is your bedtime? depends! 
*Have you ever cheated on homework? yep 
*How late do you sleep until? depends! 
*Are you a vegetarian? No! hahaha :) tryed couldnt do it
*Do you have a job? no! i need one! bad im trying my hardest to get one! 
*Are you rich? in many ways :)
*Who is the funniest comedian? not sure!
*Is your hair naturally curly or straight? straight 
*Do you go to tanning beds? No! that increases your chances of skin cancer drastically! 
*What is your natural hair color? Medium Brown 
*you die your hair? yes 
*What is your most prized possession? my boyfriend :) hes not a possession but hes what i prize most! :) 
*What thing do you have an obsession for? lots of things! haha :)cleaning, starbucks, alot alot of stuff haha 
*Are you usally a happy person? yes id say! i try to be!!! i just sometimes let things get to me! 

LOVE

The only one who has even an idea of how mush i love him is god. If i loved him anymore i think i would turn into a giant heart with legs and eat him. <3 i love you Derek Scott Tolbert! Im so lucky to have you in my life! Every love song makes me cry of happiness, and when i see his picture i feel like i could melt where i am sitting.

WHAT ARE YOU READING?!?!!?

My sister brought home the mail, and she was so excited because her magazine was in. She was sitting on the couch flipping through this magazine, when my mom called her to do the dishes. She set the mag. down on the corner table and i slid over and grabbed it, i was curious to see what advice on clothing and such. I was soon surprised when i was reading how they were telling you what you should say to make friends... what ever happened to being yourself? Isn't that good enough? Then i go on to read about "how to kiss your boyfriend so he will never forget" and "what boys like" or how about "what boys do when they like you". Alright, so keep in mind my sister is going to be in 7th grade and then my other one is going into 8th. I dont like seeing her read that "when a boy holds your hand "finger laced style" that is one way to say i love you!" what?!?! no it is not!!! Girls are going to read this and think oh he loves me, and make mistakes they can never take back!! I mean come on these girls are so young.... what are they feeding them? They also make boys a top priority, i dont see anything in here about getting good grades? or dressing modest? or maybe even having self confidence for who you are?!? instead of following a dialogue a magazine gives them to make friends they should feel comfortable enough to go out and make friends on there own... maybe thats what they should have been telling these young women... Im glad that I can be here for my sisters to tell them, what life is really like and to take that info the magazines give them with a grain of salt. 

Also on the topic of little girls growing up to fast, or whatever you want to call it. I was watching Good Morning America this morning after my morning run. I saw a segment on the news about a breast feeding doll....... seriously?.... thats all i can say! What are we teaching girls?!?! I mean baby dolls are marketed to girls from ages 2-10 give or take, now we are teaching these little girls its fun, and easy to do this! And people wonder why so many girls are having kids so early?!? Im not say its souly the breast feeding dolls fault, I also blame ALL of the things that glorify having children at a young age. Like the tv shows Secret Life.. that movie her parents support her after she has a baby and there is other girls who have babies and even young marrage...  

I just think that some parents and pop culture is pushing girls to grow up too fast. So if you know a little girl watch over her and always remind her to take her time growing up!! Thank you 

10 more things, just because

I realized i haven't been blogging for a while!!

I have been stressed stressed stressed... for reasons i will not say. Ive tried painting didnt work, ive tried crying it out..nope, Ive tried eating chocolates like in the movies... nope! Ive even read over the advice Ive given on how to be a better person... and to be honest i haven't completely been following it! Its hard to put on a smile and try to be happy when a wave of anger or built up emotion smacks you in the face and your not expecting it! It might not even be from yourself, maybe its someone else? but still... I really really need to try to control how i let things get to me. Because right now all im trying to do is knock down all of the feelings i have, which most people around me would think im doing the opposite but i actually im suppressing the big feelings and letting little things get to me which i shouldn't do! But i cant help it because i dont want to complain to people and sometimes i FEEL like when i try to express how i feel people freak out and dont understand or take it the wrong way. So as you can see my mind was telling me "Kailyn.... seriously... you need to find something to releave me off this stress, and im not the only one complaining you know stress affects the whole body?"
Im pretty sure my mind calling me by my name is found as a sign of insanity. But im not crazy. Well, im doing many things to make myself feel better, first off, i have been reading out of the bible, im interested and even just reading that gives me something positive to think about! Also instead of sleeping my days away and sleeping in until 12 in the afternoon im waking up at 7 oclock to run, then later in the afternoon ive been doing workouts that work the entire body! Exercise is a GREAT way to releave stress!  So im going to try these things as well as... continuing my college grant and scholarship search,  continuing my job search, and also working for a my licence! Im at the point that i NEED it!! 
If you want to feel different, if you want to have a better life, and if you want to be a better and happier person you have to work for that yourself! 

A painting i did for my boyfriends little sister amanda! :) she is redoing her room and i think she will love it! i hope so!! :) haha Daisies are symbolic of purity, innocence, loyal love, beauty, patience and simplicity, and also are really cute! soo its perfect!! 

What is going on with me

Ahhhh, grandparents are in town and im very happy to see them!! Family is important to me, and im glad to see them whenever i can!! Tomorrow im probably going to bath and body works with my grandma, and mom, the rest of the fam. will possibly come with us as well! After that i have a job interveiw! Is gunna be a busy day! haaha so i might not blog! thats a might... not haha knowing me, ill find time!! My mom, grandma and I were talking about how befor ive had trouble befor with expressing how i feel, and holding it in. Which made me think about how angry and upset i was when i was holding things in all the time! 


Sooo todays "be sweet" challenge is~ Find someone you trust and you know will listen to you express your feelings who you are comfortable with and talk to them when you need to!! 


I hope these challenges are helping you as much as they are helping me!!! :) 

ohhh ho ho, watch it girl

My protective girlfriend instincts kicked in today! Oh yes they did! I completely trust Derek i know he loves me and would never do something like that, but i come on.... hes hot.... any girl i dont care who it is would flirt with him! So when he went out to eat with two girls and a friend i was going crazy! All i could think about is (prepare yourself cause i think chaotically!) "Ohhhh mmmyyyy goosshh.... these girls are going to be looking at him thinking how hot he is and wondering if they could catch his attention, even if they dont want to date him they still want to know they  can get his attention, or thinking i wonder what he looks like with his shirt off, hes hot, hes hot... ohh yeah hes hot, who cares if he has a girlfriend, oohh and what if other people think that its two couples going out, i know they are not and its just a stranger but thats MY boyfriend that someone is insinuating is going out with another girl." oooh boy... yeah see thats like a blip of my thoughts haha Im very glad i have such a sweet boyfriend who loves me so much i can trust him to go out like that.. its honestly just the girls who i dont trust! i feel like a clingy possesive girlfriend you know the annoying kind but i guess it shows how much i care! i honestly dont know how those polygamist women do it.. i couldnt! Im sorry but im not willing to share... im greedy that way! :) haha Anyway to keep myself from worrying more and working myself up.. i painted this!! :) haha 


sooo todays be sweet challenge(even though its midnight) is~ find a outlet that you can turn to to calm yourself down and use it! 

pheewww

Its crazy when you love someone so much that 15 min.s with them seems to take all of your stress away and leave you happy for the rest of the day. Its like a breath of fresh air! I love it. Another crazy thing is when you are so happy with someone that when they are not with you, you feel like something is missing. But then when you think about them it reminds you of how wonderful life is and how lucky you are to have someone so amazing that makes you feel that way. I wish this for everyone in the world! :) <3

I painted my nails, and I love it! its so cute!!! :) This is the first time ive used the crackling nail polish, and i decided to use and antique tealy green color with it, and on course i did zebra i love zebra! :) haha

Awww!

Hahaha aww i was just looking at my memory picture i have of me and my boyfriend below im on the same side in all but one picture!! hahaha :) 

I need to start drawing again!! I've been painting so much that I bet my pencils and sketchbook are feeling very neglected! I just don't know what to draw!! This is defiantly one of my favorite graphite drawings... oohh i love it :) 


But since im posting- this picture makes me think of how we all can be a little fierce sometimes. You know when you just get this feeling to lash out at someone cause your upset?!? yeah 


todays be sweet challenge is~ hold back when you get the erge to yell or hurt someone whether it be physically or emotionally! remember to do this challenge and yesterdays challenge!!   :) 


<3 always, Kailyn 

facebookers

I myself have a facebook, and get on it everyday, I check people statuses and pictures and so on. I have found that many people use facebook for different reasons. Here is the different facebookers~ 

1. The player- those guys who when they are single comment on every girls facebook profile picture and "like" all of there posts. They use it as another way to hit on girls. haha 

      *personally i find this pathetic and desperate alot alot of guys on fb are like this! 

2. The girls with daddy problems-  we all have the girls who post pictures of the low cut shirts bending forward to show their cleavage. Oh! but thats not all they got the classic bikini pictures, the party pics the ones where they are drunk out of their minds and passed out on a couch, and the super short skirts. ahhh... enough said.... 

       *most of the girls on fb.... are these girls.. haha expecially in high school! im pretty sure they think this makes them feel cooler. haha truth is people are looking at those pics and thinking she is totally going to regret posting that :/ 

3. The teen moms-  Those girls who unfortunetly get pregnant as teenagers. We all have atleast one on our facebook! They post things about how far along they are the facebook aps you know with the growing baby picture. They also take the pictures of them standing sideways in the mirror to show their "belly progression" And then you get the extreme young mom the one who is 18 and has a 4 year old on one hip and a 1 year old on the other, as well as one in the oven! 

4. The stalker-  That person who has people that they visit there fb every single time they get on facebook. There are different kinds of stalkers, there the boyfriend stalkers, the friend stalkers, the family stalkers, and the creepy stalker. The creepy stalkers are pretty much self explanatory but they are the ones who stalk people they don't know, or they like. 

5. The creeper-  That guy or girl who tries to add you and only has a few profile pictures or none at all only pictures of there favorite baseball logo or so on... creepy... yeah 

6. The anime kids-  those kids who are "emo" and post all the dramatic posts about how horrible life is and how hard it is to go on, and post only anime pictures. yep you know what im talking about! 

7. The "im so much cooler online" people-  Those kinds of people you know and on there facebook they lie about how tough they are or how beautiful and popular they are. They also are commonly known to post pictures of famous football players, celebrities, or pictures of themselves from far away. They often lie about work, sports, school, friends, how much they workout etc. Im sure we all have one on mind! 

8. The super moms-  This is not a bad thing, but we all know the facebook moms who always post pictures on there walls on everything there kids do! They post pictures, things there kids say, and everything there kids do! 

9. The moms who wear their teens jeans-  Those moms who post pictures of themselves next to there teenaged daughters and they are wearing similar cloths and they have similar hair. You know those divorsies who think that if they dress like there teen daughters they can stay young and attractive forever! 

10. The annoying status updateors-  The people who post everything they do! They will post about how they looked in the mirror, then how they brushed their teeth, then how they got some water and so on! 

there are so many different facebookers and honestly i could go on but im pretty much done with this topic.. just something i was thinking about :) haha 

Its times like this we will never forget :)

cheesy but~ from blue to new in so many ways!

My new painting, I painted over a really creepy picture of a girl who was blue and was cracking and she had orange coming through and she was wrinkly ad she was cartoonish... it sounds cool but it wasn't! haha :) but im glad she got a make over. Now she is a pretty blue flower! and i gave it a antique look i love the way that turned out it gives it character. 


I found a website that says~ The ancient Egyptians used lapis lazuli to represent heaven. Blue symbolizes the Virgin Mary. A pure blue is the color of inspiration, sincerity and spirituality. Blue is often the chosen color by conservative people. Blue is the calming color. 


I think this painting means allot to me in the fact that before i painted over it, you know that ugly creepy old women who was cracking? yeah her, that's how i felt like. I feel like an ugly (not outside, well sometimes outside but I'm talking about inside) old women who is cranky, rude, scary, unpleasant, all that. You know.. well anyways I've painted over that with something i want to be seen as, beautiful, admirable, pleasant, innocent,  not innocent in the way that I've done something bad but in the sweet, nice, and i cant think of how to put it.. I'm sure you understand. Follow me on my way to be a better person, possibly can you do that for yourself? everyday I'm going to post a challenge, here's how it woks you do that challenge and then the next time i post one you do the one you've done again and the new one, and so on! 


Today's challenge~ compliment someone. possibly someone you think could use it, or someone you've never complimented before. 


<3 always. Kailyn 

just 10 things I love about you.

1. Your super cute big brown puppy dog eyes, and the way you look at me with them. 


2. How you always try to make me happy, whether that be in general, or when im mad or crying telling me funny memories or telling me not to smile, cause "your sad/mad so don't smile you can't smile its against the law!" 


3. You knew it would be on here... your muscles... :) hehe but trust me i would love you the same if you didn't have them. 


4. The way you listen to me when im talking, i always get cut off and i feel like nobody wants to listen to me, but you actually listen, and let me get it out. 


5. I love the wave of happyness i get when your hand touches mine. 


6. I love your cute voice, the one you say "cooomme huya bwabbeehh" in. 


7. I love how it feels to be around you, like when we play volleyball in my head im always saying "thats my guy!" or when we walk around the store or mall im thinking "thats my guy", when we are together just us in the car going somewhere or in a restaurant i love the feeling that your all mine. 


8. I love how when you like something or your interested in it (like xmen that one day) you look it up on your iphone on wikipedia and read all about it! 


9. I love how you make fun of me in a playful way, the flirty kind of way that always makes me smile. 


10. I love how my family loves you and likes to see you and how your family likes me as well, well atleast i hope... it seems like it :) haha

Yeah

I check this every five min.s i think about things i can post..... im obsessed!! hahaha But anyways! Im having lower back pain, whenever i walk around or stand for a long time! The boyfriend says its because i have weak posture muscles! sooo im gunna work on getting them stronger and ill keep updates on how it works out!!! :) 

What a Gift

A gift from Derek :) isnt it pretty! I love it! 

Luke 12;27

My man= My world

             Always know.... your my world <3 

questions to myself

Why do you feel like you have it so bad? 
Why do you complain so much? 
Why are you so lazy? 
Why aren't you a better girlfriend? 
Why don't you enjoy life for what it is?
Why do you expect so much?
Why do you get so so mad when things don't go your way? 
How old are you again? 
Are you ever going to grow up? 
Why do you give up? 
Why cant you take things serious when you should? 
Why cant you be a better person when you say your going to? 
Why do you let yourself get so mad so easy? 
If you love him so much... why do you treat him like that? 
Why did you drag him into your crap so early? 
Why cant you stand up on your own two feet? 
Why aren't you a better person? 
Why do you have such bad mood swings? why cant you control them? 
Why aren't you the best you can be? 
Why are you so pessimistic? 
Don't you know someone has it worse? 
Why not make a change? 
Do you want to be like her? cause that's who your acting like, right? 
What can you do to be better? 
What can you do to be the girl he deserves? 
Why can't you appreciate what you have? 


i cant think of anymore 

The blog "newb"

I'm not really sure how this works. I've heard of blogs, never read one, never seen one, and i don't know anyone who has one or follows one. I guess I don't really care if anyone reads this or not, I'm kind of doing this for fun and almost to talk to myself. I think maybe doing this, typing this, seeing it, reciting it, and knowing maybe someone else out there is reading it will help me with whatever I am blogging about that day. Not that all I have to blog about is complaining. I sort of feel like i am babbling. But anyways, I have a lot of interesting thoughts and i figure why not set them free, and allow others to read and enjoy them, and possibly help them? or maybe myself? We will see anyways id live for whoever is reading this to come back and read more of my blog posts. 
Im sure if you would like to read this, you would like to know who the person is who is writing these posts you are reading. Well if you don't know already my name is Kailyn (pronounced Kay-Lynn). I have 3 younger sisters and 1 younger brother. I live in Arizona, but i have moved around my whole life and have not lived here for long. Like most I haven't had an easy life, but just like on a first date i will not reveal everything at this moment. I will let you in on my secrets in later blog posts... so if your nosy (like me) ;) watch out for new posts from me! :) Also, please leave comments! I would love to hear what you think! What you want to know! Your honest opinion! and much much more! 
Thank you for your time! Hope you will read again soon! :)